My goal? To audition for the Rockettes. I'm mildly insane, I know (those ladies work HARD, and long hours. But they also get to wear amazing costumes.)
I'm still working my way through my feelings about this decision:
- Me: Why not? I have a strong ballet background and do decently in jazz and tap (though I need to work on the latter two a bit). I definitely won't embarrass myself.
- Also Me: I'm insane, everyone else who auditions is 10+ years younger than I am. I'm too old, I definitely won't make it.
- Me: But maybe I could?
- Also Me: Girl, no , you can't even do wings in tap yet.
- Me: Whatever. It would still be an amazing experience to go to Radio City and dance!
My larger plan is to have a whole New York Dance Adventure--visit pointe shoe shops, take class at Steps, audition, actually go see a performance (ABT or NYCB)--make it fun!
Of course, putting this plan into action is proving a little more difficult than I had originally anticipated. My body is not cooperating.
I just turned 36 and by the time I get healthy and strong enough to try to audition (next spring or fall), I'll be close to or at age 37. That's old in the dance world (unless you're Alessandra Ferri).
I feel like I'm starting to feel the age thing, which is annoying. Things get grumpy much more easily than they used to (hi, lower back and hamstrings). Of course, I'm totally out of shape from lack of dancing, so maybe its just that?
I'm trying really hard not to be so hard on myself, but sometimes I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I have to keep reminding myself that I haven't *really* danced in over a year. Of course I have no strength. Of course my calves don't match. It just takes time, and I'm impatient.
On the other hand, yea I'm not 20 anymore. But at the same time I can't help but feel like I dance better NOW than I did when I was younger. I mean..I didn't get triple pirouettes until just a couple years ago--I never had triples in my teens/20s! So...maybe the impossible can be possible.